A Secret Love
by alcathous
Summary: Can Hermione ever recover from Voldermort's evil. Will Snape ever return to Hogwarts. How will Hermione cope with the shocks awaiting her at Hogwarts this year?
1. The Beginnings

Note from Author: This is another attempt at an Idea that has been milling around in the vast expanse that is my head, and I hope it starts to coalesce once it's on paper! Although the story is quite sad in many respects, I also hope to get across the emotive and weak side to Snape. A difficult task, however here goes...

(Also, if anyone knows the real names of Hermione's parents, then let me know please! Thanks!)

Disclaimer: These characters are all those of J.K.Rowling.

Chapter 1:

Hermione Granger gazed out of her large bedroom window which covered most of a side of one of her walls. The world seemed to wind on forever out of her window. House after house after house. It was like some machine had methodically cloned each house and plastered it to the ground, hoping no one would notice the extreme slant of the windows. To be truthful, she lived on the end of a regular cul-de-sac, which had been built with all those other boring and incredibly unsightly concrete estates which intended to decrease the number of homeless people. However, to Hermione, this neighbourhood seemed like an eternal prison. She hadn't been out of the house once that week. All she could do was to mope around the house feeling sorry for herself. She had no feasible excuse for being so, although part of her felt empty. Ever since she left for the summer holidays a month ago, she felt like she had had a large part of her body ripped apart and left at Hogwarts.

She hadn't received any letters at all for weeks. She expected at least a postcard from Ron and maybe even a note from Harry, if his aunt and uncle permitted it. However, she felt that even if she did happen to get a letter from Ron or Harry, it still wouldn't relieve her of this pain she felt. What was more worrying, was she had this very fearful thought that she actually felt sorry for Snape, who had been verbally abused in one of her Potions classes last term. Oh it's only Snape, thought the rest of the class. Only Snape. Of course they were right. It wasn't like Hermione had ever felt any compassion for him.

No, it was all silly. She was being very silly and petty. She got up from the window and went and sat on her bed. She hadn't attempted to do any of her work set over the holidays yet, however she felt what with entering her seventh year at school, that she ought to do something. She bent down over her bed and reached for the nearest book that was lying on the floor. Hoisting it up onto her lap she gave her inward grunt, as if she didn't care about her work anymore. As if she didn't care about anything.

__

Oh for God's sakes Hermione, snap out of it! Your 17 now, not a silly little teenager. You can control your own feelings now. It's not like he's ever been nice to me. Oh, if only Harry, or Ron, or just anyone would just write to me. I mean, for all I know, they could have been wiped out by a massive earthquake in Ethiopia for all I know. Potions and Herbology, _oh yepee, I can't wait!_

Admitting defeat, Hermione proceeded to open her book and started to read.

"You know Gerald, I've been thinking lately..." said Emma Granger

"Oh well there's a surprise" interrupted Hermione's dad

"Oh ha ha very funny. No, I'm being very serious Gerald. I've noticed that Hermione isn't being herself lately?"

"How do you mean?" asked Gerald

"Well, usually she's always got her head in a book, studying for some sort of exam. Or if she's not doing that, then she's at least listening to music, or at the cinema or something!" explained Emma

"It could just be a teenager sort of thing"

"Hardly likely Gerald. She's 17 now, she's got past that stage of being in moods. No, I think there's something more to it".

Gerald looked very glum. It was clear that he hadn't much experience with late teenage girls.

"Is that Arsenal vs. Liverpool?" asked Gerald

"What?" snapped Emma

"Oh, look, there's this new stadium they're playing at. It's got a closing roof and all!"

"Gerald? Do you actually have any concern for our daughter's welfare whatsoever? All you can think about is football this, football that."

"Oh, sorry dear".

Having had enough of her husband's lack of interest, Emma Granger left the kitchen and went through to the living room to answer her mail.

That night things in 17 Grundal's avenue was silent. Emma had gone to bed early, annoyed with her husband's attitude, and Gerald had decided to sleep in another room, after having a whole bottle of wine.

Meanwhile, Hermione was snoozing on and off in her room. The days events (or lack of them) seemed to wash over her, like a sea tide breezing over the soft sand. All she could think about was that last week of term. Nothing else seemed to matter. What scared her even more, was that now, she didn't even seem to mind if Harry or Ron didn't even send her a letter. She began to think less and less of them as the day wore on. And more and more of... him. Snape. Several times she tried to rid her thoughts of him. Several times she failed.

She was going to have to face the truth.. whether she liked it or not...

(Well, what do you think of it? If I lose interest then I obviously won't write any more, but an influx of reviews would be helpful. Nice ones are preferable, however if you have any nice criticism then that is also welcome to an extent!)


	2. Revelations

Note from Author: Okay, second chapter. Have had no reviews as yet, so at least 100 would be nice soon! I intend to make this chapter longer, and although at the moment it might seem a bit wry, then it shall soon change! _Words in italic denote a time shift, or the thoughts of Hermione, I'm sure you'll be able to work out which! _

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters.

Chapter 2

Hermione sighed as she gazed out of the car window. Could life get any more depressing? No letters, no nothing. Anyway, she felt that today she might just see some sign of living life outside of the Muggle world. She had been forcefully roped into doing her annual shopping for all the books and bits and pieces she needed for the next years academic year. Hermione hoped that once she was off the M4, and had entered Diagon alley she would feel; well, a little less sedated than she did at the moment.

As she watched freight lorry after freight lorry wiz by she brushed her memory back to then end of the summer term…

_The Students in the great hall buzzed with anticipation. There was a racket outside the door to the hall. _

"_Hey, 'mione what d'you thinks going on out there?" asked an inquisitive Ginny Weasley_

"_No idea I'm afraid. Oh God!" stopped Hermione. The memory of something quickly took her by shock_

"_What? Hermione, are you alright?" Ginny said_

"_Oh. Of course. Silly me, I just get some nervous shock sometimes. It's nothing. Really." Answered Hermione_

"_I don't think that's the truth is it…? Said Ginny._

_The noise outside the hall was reaching a climax. Shouts were herd and then the large oak doors of the hall were flung open and none less than Dumbledore threw Snape onto the floor._

"_I'll tell you later" said Hermione quickly before silence enveloped the room_

_Snape picked himself off the floor gathered himself together. _

"_What of all things is going on?" asked Professor McGonagall striding into the room with electric excitement_

"_Don't worry Minerva" said Dumbledore_

"_Well, don't you think I should after I see one of my colleagues being thrown onto the floor by another?"_

_Dumbledore looked stern and worried._

"_I think I ought to tell you all now" said Dumbledore raising his voice to the eclectic mix of audience gathered before him_

"_Professor Severus Snape (your Potions master) has been asked to leave the school"_

_The gasps that followed echoed throughout the hall. There were groans of delight, but mostly of shock_

_Hermione's eyes shot back into her head and a sense of guilt rushed over her head_

_She stepped forward and approached the three teachers by the door._

"_It's all my fault, isn't' it?" said Hermione_

"_Now why should you think it would be your fault… Do you have anything to tell us Miss Granger?" said Dumbledore with a sense of inside knowledge_

" _I'm sorry Severus…"_

_The mention of his first name by a pupil sent shock waves down most of the school. A student, addressing a teacher by their first name!_

"_It's alright Hermione. It's my fault… I shouldn't have been wandering around that late at night_

_Snape turned to face the audience and began to tell the students why he was asked to leave_

" _I was caught wandering around late at night a few nights ago. It was late, and I had left something in professor Trelawney's office. I also had something to say to Professor McGonagall who was at that time in the Gryffindor common room. I happened to get lost, as it is very rare that I find myself in Gryffindor house. Anyway, I walked along and opened a door, which I presumed to be Professor McGonagall's and it was in fact Miss Granger's. _

"_It was my fault, I was having a shower and I left the door unlocked. I mean, I had just switched rooms and mine is very close to Professor McGonagall's." explained Hermione to an unconvinced Dumbledore._

"_No miss Granger, we believe that Snape deliberately went into your room. Is this true? You see, Miss Granger that I believe you and Professor Snape have a secret to hide? Am I not right?" enquired Dumbledore_

"_Oh come on Albus. Enough is enough. (Whisper) You have no reason to believe that Severus and Miss Granger are more intimate than we know about." Said Minerva McGonagall_

_To that, Snape walked out of the hall and proceeded to leave the building. Hermione rushed to say a hurried goodbye. A tender kiss on the lips was all. With in a flash, Hermione's Severus was gone. For good it seemed…_

The car screeched to a halt in the middle of London. It seemed Gerald Granger had forgotten where Diagon alley was.

"Oh sorry about that love. Do you really need us to come in with you? We need to go to Harrods and do some shopping. We'll pick you up about 5pm?" said Gerald.

"No, I'm sure that'd be fine. Have fun" replied Hermione

To that Hermione got out of the car, tapped the bricks and was immediately immersed in Diagon Alley.

She wandered along, street after street. She had a vague idea of what to buy for the next year. But none of that seemed to matter.

She next passed by the Leaky Cauldron, which she thought would be a good opportunity to actually meet some magic people. Once inside, she saw that the place was bustling with people. More so than ever it seemed. She barged her way to the bar and began to ask for a drink.

"Do you know why it's so busy?" asked Hermione

"Oh, have you not herd?" replied the bar man

"Herd what?"

"People say, now mind its only rumours, although it was splattered all over the newspapers this morning, that Voldormort's released a wave of evil over certain people".

This revelation sent sparks flying around in Hermione's head. Voldormort… Harry!

_Harry. What about Harry?_

"Does the newspaper say which people he has targeted?" asked Hermione

"No miss. I'm afraid the newspaper is mainly biased opinions. Sorry I can't be of any more assistance."

This whole new revelation put into perspective how much she needed to warn Harry. She was sure he didn't know.

_Voldormort is back_


	3. A Night in a Hospital

Righty ho then. It appears that I don't have a vast amount of reviews, so I'm pondering about giving this story up. I think I have actually done a third chapter, but since I can't get to my school computers till something like April 15th I think it would be worth my while doing another third chapter, which I won't continue until I have at least 5 more reviews. Also, if anyone has any ideas about an extension or improvement on the plot then go ahead. I am also afraid that updating will be a problem soon as next week I am off to Greece and I am supposed to be revising for my GCSEs groans.

Anyway, I have a full plot in my head which I can assure you will get darker once I get more reviews!

The mass replies to all the many reviews I have already:

Innogen: Thank you so much for your time in reviewing. You are right in that it is right before the 7th year. I aim to go through to their equivalent of A2s. Which I am still thinking through! Of course Dumbledore's possessed, why else would he be in this story? And you have it right, Hermione will shortly turn of age, so I think a few sparks might go flying then!

Yelena Derevko: Well, if I were to tell you if Snape is coming back then that would spoil the whole plot, now wouldn't it! And I will keep up the "good work" if I get some more reviews... hint hint

Now enough of me spelling out rubbish...

Disclaimer: You know the drill, as before.

Chapter 3

The shock pelted through Hermione's spine and she staggered back in realisation that indeed Voldermort is back... could be anywhere. Mirth flowed over her eyes and she felt like she was being lifted up, her head was emptying and all the people in the room were being merged into one another. Voices were now penetrating through her head.

__

Voldermort

Harry

Voldermort

Harry

Voldermort

"You do think she'll be alright" asked Mrs Weasley as she glanced over Hermione. She had been taken to St Mungo's Hospital. Her parents hadn't been able to find her and the only people she was surrounded by were wizardry people.

"Of course she'll be alright. She only fainted. Well, so it seems anyway. I think it must have been the amount of people in the Leaky Cauldron. There were masses. Although, I have to admit. I have no idea about why there were so many people." replied the nurse.

"Of course. I suppose not. Although... (_stepping aside from Hermione's bed) _although, you have herd about you know who. Have you not?"

"I don't here much I'm afraid. Being stuck in here all day, every day means I don't really have a chance to go out anywhere. However, I had herd that he's returned and that he's released a wave of powerful and penetrating evil over certain people" explained the nurse.

Mrs Weasley gasped in surprise. What does she mean by she doesn't know much? That's more than she knew.

The nurse walked over to the chest of drawers to collect some more sheets for the bed next to Hermione.

"Oh yeah, hang on. It's coming back to me" said the nurse.

"Oh?" said Mrs Weasley

"Yeah, I believe he primarily targeted that boy".

Mrs Weasley's colour in her face shot white at the mention of a boy.

"Do you happen to know which boy?" enquired Mrs Weasley

"I think his name was... Oh, it's coming to me..."

Suddenly, a man walked in to the room armed with a stethoscope and a clipboard. He directed his speech to the nurse.

"Sandra, you're needed with a young girl who's just been admitted. Severe injuries to the head. I think fatal" said the doctor.

At that, the nurse marched out of the room and Mrs Weasley was left on her own with Hermione in the small room.

Ever since she was called out to the hospital by the chief doctor, she had been frantically busy and she had had little time to stop and ponder on the days events.

__

Why should Hermione be taken into Hospital if she had only fainted? thought Mrs Weasley.

Things didn't add up right.

All she could do now was to sit and wait.

Hermione's eyes flickered in the candlelight and her breathing was soft and steady. The colour on her cheeks was pale but warm. The stillness of the atmosphere in the room seemed to calm Hermione down until she was unconsciously restful. Nothing could harm her here. Not even Voldermort.

The next morning Hermione was awake. She appeared to have remembered nothing but severely wanted to return home. However it was actually August 30th and she had to be in Hogwarts in two days time.

Mrs Weasley had stayed with Hermione all night. She was glad when Ron came marching into the room to see his mother, but was more concerned with Hermione.

"She's not going to like this Mum" said Ron

"Not like what?" replied Mrs Weasley

"Draco and Hermione are the new Head boy and Head girl"

Well, how do you like that? Now, if you want some more, then you will get by means of a little purple box just below this. So review!


	4. Just a Glimpse

Okay, seems like my last chapter wasn't the greatest of all. I shall try to tie up some loose threads here which might un-confuse some of you! I shall also try to lengthen my chapters as well.

Innogen: You saw how depressed Hermione was during the holiday, well this bombshell isn't exactly going to lift her spirits is it? Plus, there is one more little seed I have to sew into this little scene which will explain Hermione's "catatonic" state. Dumbledore will feature later on. Remember, this is still in the holidays and they are not yet back at school. The scene with Dumbledore in was only a flashback, not part of the present story. So I guess this story isn't the best you've read!

westdean: That is exactly what I intend to keep doing- write more! Well, I got the muggle bits from my own family, so it seems everyone has their woes! The plot will thicken, it's just so many reviewers expect you to have it all sussed in the 1st 3 chapters!

Disclaimer: Blah blah, as before...

Chapter 4 Just a glimpse

Draco... Hermione... Draco... Hermione. Was she actually hearing this? Hermione raised herself with difficulty to sit up in her bed. She had got some of her colour back now and she looked fairly normal.

"Excuse me, Ron, what did you say? I didn't quite catch that?" said Hermione

"Erm, sorry 'mione didn't realise you were awake then. Erm (sarcastic laugh), yeah, Mum, do you want some tea... coffee?"

"What he means, Hermione, is that this year you and Draco Malfoy are going to be head boy and girl" interrupted Mrs Weasley

"I'll just be over here then" said Ron walking casually over to the window

"Is that all? I was expecting that. Although to actually here it is true is not too heart warming." said Hermione

Ron gave a large gasp in surprise at Hermione's reaction to the news.

"What, so you're not actually surprised?" said Ron

"Of course not. Dumbledore had hinted at me for ages. Although really, I couldn't face seeing him right now."

"Oh?" said Mrs Weasley inquisitively

"Ron, you remember what happened last summer? When he threw Snape out of school?" said Hermione

"Well, of course. Go Dumbledore! You know Mum, I don't think I've liked Dumbledore so much!" replied Ron

Hermione's face looked torn. She couldn't believe what her friend had said. He knew that there must have been something else going on with them.

"Caw, 'mione, you know I felt so sorry for you when I herd that he actually cam into your room while you were, well, scantily dressed! I mean, what a disgusting pervert!" explained Ron

"I think that's enough Ron. Just get out!" shouted Hermione

Ron's face shot into a blue colour. How was he supposed to know that she felt more for Snape than he imagined? It was outrageous.

"C'mon Ron, I think we should be leaving" said Mrs Weasley

"I'll see you on Sunday 'mione" whispered Ron

"Bye" groaned Hermione and flumped back down onto her bed

Outside, in the corridor, there was a great commotion. Whispers darted all over the place like arrows shot through every single person leaving the poison to envelope them that was gossip. Mrs Weasley could just see two figures talking to each other. She clambered past everyone until she was virtually near the front. A vigilant nurse was herding people away.

"All I'm saying is, Doctor, that I had what could have been a fatal accident to someone in that room" said a hooded figure.

"I'm sure nothing came of it" replied the ignorant Doctor

"It was Miss Granger" whispered the hooded figure. "I think her condition could have been caused by myself. I expect no one could remember, but just a sneeze can pass on a trace of that disease You Know Who passed onto certain people. I being one of them. I'm sure it's not fatal for her. I expect she just fainted and looked vary pale." explained the hooded figure.

Then, the figure started to turn around. As soon as the figure was facing the crowd of inquisitive people Mrs Weasley's eyes bulged and the figure shot a penetrating glance right through her. It was like he was looking directly at her, but looking beyond her.

She shook herself once more in realisation. Was she actually looking at... at... Snape!

Dominoes of sense started to thunder through her and she pieced the events together one by one. _Hermione must have been grieving over someone over the summer, then when she went to the Leaky Cauldron she was stunned by someone from the past, so in fact the news of Voldermort didn't come as much of a shock as we all realised. And my stupid son had to make that extremely sensitive comment. Oh dear._

Having had enough of being made a public exhibition, Snape made a move to the exit of the Hospital. Little seen of his face the better. In time Voldermort would make sure that Snape was not recognisable by those who knew him. For Voldermort, this would be his revenge for an event many years ago.

Okay, how do you like that? I tried to tie up some loose ends without spoiling the plot. There's still a lot more to come. So please keep reviewing, otherwise i can't see a future for this story!


	5. Return to the Memory Pool

Hello everyone, sorry for the little lapse in time since the last update. I have had complaints about nagging for reviews, so I shall stop that, however it is common courtesy to review even if you have nothing to say, so you could just say Good job! or something like that. Erm, so here goes, another chapter, keep the ball rolling as it were...

Hina-Kmi: Hi there! Thanks, I'm glad you liked it, I shall continue just for you...

ladyvohn: I appreciate what you said and I have replied personally.

Chapter 5: Return to the Memory Pool

Hermione groaned as her alarm clock nearly shattered the whole house with its screeching soaring siren. She attempted to turn over in her bed and cover the pillow over her head as to shun the world out of her. To escape into her own elision. She had been brought back home after the doctors had seen her fit to return, however it was only for one night as the school term was due to start the next day (that being the Monday). Whether _she _wanted to go home was another thing. The sight of someone else seeing Snape (_I mean, why Mrs Weasley of all people! She hates him, whereas I... well... I..._

The sun glared into her face as she turned over. She knew she must face it, otherwise when would she ever? No. It was time to face reality. She needed Hogwarts, and, well, a certain someone in Hogwarts needed her. How could she have let him slip from her mind. First in the hospital, she felt she had neglected him.

Why else would she have decided to face the day rather than run away from it if it weren't for the idea of seeing Harry again. Yes, she felt Harry had somehow been airbrushed from her memory. As if something had been slowly consuming itself inside her head. Ravaging all what mattered to her.

In fact, she had meant to phone Harry. Or at least owl him. The guilt sank right to Hermione's heart and she craved for those long days they all three used to have. Back in the first year when they all three (Ron included. Of course!) used to play chess in the great hall. Those long summer afternoons sitting in the grounds whiling the days away. The long willow tree caressing the delicate skin on Hermione's forehead as she lay there on the ground, with the only two people that mattered to her in the world. The grass would gently blow in the warm sunlight, and through the trickling stream by the willow, the sun would filter through generating a supple glistening vision that would seep through into Hermione's eyes and intoxicate her and send her into a deep sleep. How she longed for those days to return. She felt ever since she had met Snape, her world seemed to have been stained. Stained by some deep enriching colour that slowly melted away that sense of innocence Hermione had once felt.

She loved Snape, but the return to that place would mean embracing her memories with open arms, even if they squirmed a little by her breasts. She would always remember the soft touch Snape gave when he cupped her breasts and it seemed like the whole world was lifted from her self and she could be free to live the life she wanted. How ironic it seemed that the person who had the power to take such a feeling away (that of heavy heartedness and the busy life she led), was in fact the one who caused those feelings.

Hermione couldn't work out whether what Snape had in directly given her, was in fact a blessing, or a sodden nuisance. One thing she did know, was she had to return to Hogwarts to finish her education, with or without her Snape.

The train effortlessly gave a few noises as it swept into platform 9 3/4. The glistening green paint had been recently restored and the shining bronze on the front of the train shone out through all the other muggle trains that it had passed on its way to Kings X. There were many little children running around frantically as if the whole world was about to release its energy and crash in on them; M4 first.

Hermione gazed as she saw all the children scuttling around saying goodbye to their mothers and then being herded off to some unknown quantity which was Hogwarts. The enormity of it all seemed to captivate Hermione as memories flashed by one after the other. Her fist journey was exactly like this. She was frantic about all the (what seemed like) little silly things. Like whether she had enough quills and biros to last her six weeks. In some respects she yearned to return to that age. No worries at all, her life in front of her, and her to cut out each and every bit she desired and to discard the rest in one fit of happiness.

That strange vision seemed almost extinguished now. She realised her life was dictated for her, and she had make the most of it. Life wasn't going to make the most of her: she had already seen the consequences.

Once on the bus, Hermione proceeded to find an empty compartment where she spread herself out and read her book. She hadn't intended to find Harry or Ron as they'd probably be together and they wouldn't be bothered about finding Hermione. So she thought...

The train steamed along effortlessly and the gap between her and Hogwarts seemed to be closing in rapidly. One last 'chug' was all that it took and immediately the train ground to a halt and it was time to return to the Memory pool.


End file.
